Thursday, May 01, 2008

Three Days, Three Kings, a river and Becoming Human


On my retreat I was reminded of how much I need the rhythm of my life to be in a cycle of renewal. I used to ride a Mt. bike for seven miles, hike or something everyday to have a steady time of solitude. But when a year of your life requires you to be cared for… getting out to renew is challenging. So I spent my time with God guided by a Vineyard Pastor who’s PhD is in spiritual formation. I practiced some early church prayer and study rituals, journaled, read two short books, and sat alone for a long time and listened as the presence of God filled my soul.

There is a book – A Tale of Three Kings - a study in brokenness.
This is a fictional narrative based on Saul, David, and Absalom. Far too many insights to really list but here’s a few that I can share now…
- God uses the struggles I face to kill the Saul in me. Saul was mad and threw spears at David in his throne room. David killed and committed very sinful acts and yet the difference - David repented, died to sin. and sought his God’s heart.
- How hard must it have been to follow a warrior leading as he cried and sobbed. More frustrating, this, at every opportunity would walk away from killing Saul who was hunting David to kill. He didn’t look like much of a warrior more like a wimpy crybaby. Yet, eventually, he would lead God’s nation.

The River of Mercy… two days on the Merced. The river’s name means mercy in Spanish and there is a cleansing that flows through my soul as I sit by the shores and hear the voice of God. I hear mercy. As I sat I just listened… thought of where I am and am grateful for all I have been given. I got some answers. I know I am loved and I know that I am called to serve Him and I know that the calling to minister, reach, and see the Spirit change lives is more alive now.

Becoming Human… another book about the way God uses trial and struggle to forge our heart and character. Making us more as we were intended to be - dependent on Jesus, independent of life’s situation.

I see this as a beginning to the cycle of life that has evaded me since before my accident, just as this church plant began, a rhythm of renewal, I hope you will take my experiences to heart and find rest for your soul.


Shalom

1 comments:

Mrs. R said...

Wow - this is actually my favorite photograph by Charles Cramer and I haven't seen it in years. I'm glad your retreat went so well. I've discovered your blog!