a year...

Hi all,
Today is a rather contemplative day for me. It was exactly a year ago that I was in the accident, and what a year it's been! The same moment that profoundly changed me physically has also led to profound changes in my inner world. The day started with this question... What am I most grateful for? I would say the focus of life now, I have a very keen sense of what is important and what is not, what matters and what really shouldn't have the place of significance in my life. I am thankful for another year to spend with my wife and daughter and what a precious gift that is. I have a very good friend who tells me -"Rick, you're playing with the house's money" and I am.

The next thoughts came as reflections over the year the faces and the moments of the recovery. The months of babysitters, rides and meals as people helped me cope and recover. Putting up with all the issues of medication and recovery. Then I just got better day by day... I do see now love is the best medicine.

Then I looked over my journal and asked myself what have I learned? I've learned a lot.
God does work all things out for good... His good, not yours or mine or our opinions, interpretations or expectations of what good is.
Miracles still happen!
I hate hospitals.
To love and forgive more deeply.
He is sovereign, and answers us and "no" is an answer.
That there is a lot of really bad teaching on suffering, and we as the people of God need to learn how to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice, regardless of our situation.
I hate hospitals.
There are some really great cooks at church.
God uses people to love lavishly!
People use the term "I understand what you're going through" way too much- I pray you never come close to understanding what I've been through.
I really hate hospitals.

So where am I now???
At the most delicate place in the recovery process... The head of my femur has the center of it dead so every step at first was a risk of collapsing that bone, now every hard step or staircase is a big risk. My shoulder also risks injury with however long it takes to reconnect a nerve or get a nerve signal it takes that same amount of time to restore it's strength; as well as the risk of damaging the previous repairs due to the lack of muscle support. So everyday has it's risk & adventure. So I choose to trust God, take Him at His word and know that He has been and will be faithful.

Which leads me to the point... Appearances can be so deceptive. Things can look so nice on the outside yet be so turbulent beneath the surface... so undone. That' why I have come to appreciate grace, the patience and love to see the undone- redone. The beautiful song of one so forgiven is worth the shouts of condemnation, the song of the forgiven; freedom, thanksgiving and praise. It is the beauty of easter, that we, all of us, in whatever state of the process of being re-done can sing the song of redemption. In my observation the verse of that song is the story of what God has rescued us from, and the chorus is the story of His unfailing love and faithfulness.

Isaiah 52:8-10 8 Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices; together they shout for joy. When the LORD returns to Zion, they will see it with their own eyes.
9 Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the LORD has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem.
10 The LORD will lay bare his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth will see the salvation of our God.